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As some of you know, my mom was recently diagnosed with bladder cancer. It has been a strange road so far. The urologist said she has a tumor on her bladder and put her on direct admission.
We got the call to go into the Rockyview last night and I stayed until they kicked me out. They say hopefully she will be operated on this afternoon, no one seems to be able to give us much info though. The waiting and the lack of communication is hard for her…and me.
I come here this morning for prayers please. The on call doctor is one of the best, but I believe prayers never hurt.
Thank you.
Hi Jessica
Prayers never hurt, try to stay calm as this calmness will pass on to your mom. The doctors will not have much information for you until after the surgery.
Then you will find out in about 10 days the stage and grade of the tumors and depending on the outcome a treatment plan.
Keep us posted, we are here to share our experiences and hopefully can assist you and your mom.
God Bless,
JackHello Jessica
Prayer done for your Mom and you.
The road can be hard from the start. The stress, worry, concern, guilt for all the things not said or done can be tremendous. The problem all starts with being human. We have all been there and done that. The other problem with being human is that we keep thinking we can change the past and then spend an inordinate amount of time and energy mulling over the past thinking we can change it. This leads into no time or energy to spend on the present. Then we wonder why we can’t change the future. Strange creatures we are.
Sounds to me like your mother’s cancer journey is moving forward and that is a good thing. Regardless of the surgery outcome, it is a step forward. Good or bad, it puts your mother in the fight with wonderful soldiers at her side and generals that will have a strategy for winning the war. This is what counts.
Be there for your mom and be her cheering squad but remember that caregivers are not miracle workers and they also need time to heal.
My best advice: take a deep breath or two or three or however many it takes; hug your mom – lots; talk – lots; cry as needed; ask for hugs from those you love and are close to; also ask for help. You can’t do it all on your own. Then go looking for stuff to laugh about. Yes, laugh. Once you and your Mom can laugh again, your Mom will start to heal and you can start sleeping at night again.
Take care
Hi Jessica,
Prayers and thoughts always for your mom that the surgery goes well and that the outcome is favorable. Not knowing the details is nerve wrecking and having to wait is equally stressful. However, sometimes we take those bits of info and add to it in the worst way which compounds our fears. Best leave the worrying, if you can, to the experts handling your mom’s case. I’m sure she is in good hands.
Be positive for your mom…love is stronger than any issues we may have no matter how severe they seem at the time.
Stay strong…may God Bless!
Rick
I agree with all the above, i have had a heck of a time since Nov 16.
Nov 16 i had a BCG done and the rest of the week was free the Nov 23rd i had my 2nd week of BCG and the on the 25th i had the dentist and the 28th he pulled a tooth as it wa loose and he knew i was going under on Dec 2, on Nov 30 i had my 3rd BCG and then Dec2nd i had my Cysco which turned out to be a TURBT and the 21st i go for the results so i hope all will be well, and i’m just getting over the pain from that but i know it will it will be woth it.Hello Darren
Sounds to me like you have lined up quite the collection of things so you don’t have to do any of the work to prepare for Christmas! So, just sit back and be the supervisor. Just be sure you have a plate of cookies close by while doing this strenuous work. One must keep one’s energy levels up.
Now the best Christmas present will be good news on the 21st. Let us know how it goes. Good or bad or somewhere in between.
Take care
Thanks Cheryl, I like the idea of supervising however my Wife might think differantly as apparently i wash dishes really well LOL….
All went well last night and mom should be released some time today. Then we wait for the results to see what treatment she will go through. Everyone was so helpful at the Rockyview which really helped ☺
Thank you for your prayers. I will certainly pay it forward.
Thanks Cheryl, I like the idea of supervising however my Wife might think differantly as apparently i wash dishes really well LOL….
Haha.
They have decided to keep her for a CT scan because the doctor thinks the cancer has gone past her bladder. This is so not good.
Hello Jessica
Another prayer has gone up for your Mom and you.
The stress that you and your mother are going through will be tremendous right now. One can really loose site of everything under these conditions.
The best part of all this is that action is being taken now. Not sometime in the future when things can be nothing but worse. Your Mom is now in the battle and those little cancer buggers will no longer have free reign on your Mom’s body. When you really think about it, this is about the best it can get.
Remember the start of your post and the stress of the unknown you and your Mom were under then. Once the surgery was definitive, your stress levels probably reduced because you knew what was going on. Both of you will now be in that elevated stress state because, once again, you don’t know what is going on. The stress will eat you alive. If you let it. Focus on spending time together not on the disease. Do not give cancer your sole focus.
Has the hospital arranged for counseling for your Mom? I am assuming, but most hospitals have people on staff 24/7 to help people deal with news that is not good. Still, your Mom is still here and there are a lot of options and treatments available should the doctor be right and the cancer has made it outside of her bladder. Trust me, the end is not near and the battle is not over. Lots on this site can attest to that!
Take care
Hi Jessica!
The Tom Baker Cancer Centre has a psychosocial department to help patients and their families when they are struggling with the challenges of a cancer diagnosis. Wellspring Calgary has many support programs although they don’t do psychosocial support – peer support only. And of course there is the patient support group that I co-facilitate here in Calgary. Again it is peer support. Let us know if we can help. Take care.
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