Saying hi

[Kowleen]

I certainly never wanted to be making this post.

My name is Kathleen and my grandma has been fighting bladder cancer for a number of years. In April 2014, she had her bladder removed and was fitted with an ileostomy bag. Things were looking pretty good though. Fast forward to fall 2015…More tumours were found, they were removed and she declined radiation therapy. Since then she has been feeling more and more miserable. She had a CT scan and on March 10, she was told that her cancer had metastasized to her liver and kidneys. We are now working with a team of doctors and nurses to make her as comfortable as possible.

I wish there was some way I could fix this.

[shelties]

Hi there Kowleen, welcome to the forum, but sorry to hear about your grandma. It sounds as though she has been dealing with bladder cancer for some time and unfortunately, it has spread to other organs. I know this must be very disappointing for all of you. She is very fortunate to have you there to support her through this and I hope that she can be helped to be comfortable. I believe at a time like this, loved ones feel so helpless. It is a natural reaction to want to fix it so their loved one would not have to go through this. Probably the best you can do for her right now is to be there with her and for her. That will mean a lot to her.
Take care of yourself as you take this journey with your grandma.
Lorraine

[marysue]

Hi Kowleen:

I’m sorry to learn of your Grandma’s story with bladder cancer. That is really hard and yes it is natural to wish that you could do something “to fix it”. We all wish that. As Lorraine has said she has you and the support and love that you can give her. I too, have lost loved ones to cancer. I’m the only one that I know of in the family that has had to deal with bladder cancer but losing anyone to any kind of cancer is very very difficult.

You sound like there is a plan in place. Quality of life for her last months, weeks or whatever is important. You being there and doing what you can will count for more than you will ever know. You’re in our thoughts and prayers here. Don’t hesitate to stay in touch and feel free to ask questions. Take care. ((((((HUGS)))))) for you and your grandma.

[Kowleen]

Grandma passed away on April 4, 2016. We were able to transfer her to hospice care for the last few days of her life. I was with her 24 hours a day for the last 3.5 weeks of life. And I would do it again in a heartbeat. I am so glad she didn’t die alone.

[marysue]

Hi Kowleen:

Sorry to learn of your Grandma’s passing. May you be comforted in knowing that you did all that you could for her. You and she were very blessed to have had this time together.

As mentioned in an earlier post, I too, have lost loved ones to cancer – my father (Prostate) and mother-in-law (Lung). I, also, was fortunate to have had the time to spend with them in their last days. My father slipped into a coma for the last week of his life. My brother and I maintained a bedside vigil. Dad’s medical team assured us that he would still be able to hear us so we made a point of sharing good memories and stories as if Dad was conscious and able to participate in the conversation. I also felt a reconnection with my brother which was great because we live far apart and haven’t seen each other much over the years.

It was easier with my mother-in-law because she was residing in a nursing home not far from where I live. Her passing was easier than Dad’s but we were determined to be there for her. She decided otherwise and slipped away during the night but we had had a pleasant evening the night before and were aware that her time was close. We wanted to do a bedside vigil but she would have none of it and shooed us to go home. Still, we had helped her until the end.

I also managed to be there for my mother but it was heart valve issues in her case that caused her to pass on. As you said, they didn’t die alone. I had made a promise to myself early on, that I would do everything I could to be there when it came time for my folks to go. I’m glad to this day that I was able to fulfil that promise.

Again, I’m sorry for you losing your Grandma. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. All the best…((((((BIGHUGS)))))

[shelties]

Hi Kowleen, I am so sorry to hear that you lost your grandma to cancer. Please accept my sincere sympathy. She was so lucky to have you in her life, especially in her last months. Everyone should be as fortunate as your grandma was, to have a dear granddaughter so close in her last days. Take care and just know that you did all you could for her.

Lorraine

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