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Homepage – Forum Forums Off Topic RETIRED HEALTH MESSAGE

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  • #7619
    Jeanne
    Participant

    RETIRED HEALTH MESSAGE

    As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don’t really give a rat’s hiney. It’s the tortoise life for me!
    1.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

    2.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.

    3.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
    4.. A tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
    And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.

    I’m retired. Go around me.

    God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

    Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:

    1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

    2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

    3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

    4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

    5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

    6. If all is not lost, where is it?

    7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

    8. Some days, you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.

    9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

    10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

    11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

    12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

    13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.

    14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.

    15. When I’m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?

    16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they’re everywhere.

    17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

    18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m hereafter

    19. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

    20. DID I POST THIS BEFORE……….??????

    #14309
    marysue
    Participant

    Good post Jeanne. Thanks for sharing.

    #14310
    stumblegirl14
    Participant

    Love it Jeanne hope you don’t mind if I steal it to send to friends 🙂 Funny or maybe not when reading how much I can relate…must be an age thing huh!!!
    Flo

    #14311
    Kyle
    Participant

    Thanks great Jeanne !
    # 18 for sure !!!

    #14312
    KIOWA
    Participant

    Actually, Jeanne you posted 8 times. It’s OK, it is well worth the read. Silly Sicilians!

    Kiowa

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