Hi Larry.
Sorry to hear of your issue and hope it improves. I had the same operation a little more than two years ago, and never attained night time continence. I also had the back pain. My urologist told me to catheterize nightly before just before bed time and it made all the difference. I do not have the back pain any more because the neo-bladder no longer gets overly full. I wear an external catheter (condom catheter) at night and sleep right through. I’ll collect 200 t0 400 ml of urine overnight in the drainage bag. Have never had an issue doing this, but it takes about 10 minutes to sanitize things each morning. In over two years have never had a UTI.
Don