Bad Teacher
A schoolteacher was arrested at the airport for trying to go through security with a slide rule and a calculator. He was charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
____________________________________________________
A Penguin Walks Into…
A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, “Have you seen my brother?” The bartender says, “I don’t know. What does he look like?”
______________________________________________________________
A Grasshopper Hops Into…
A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, “You’re quite a celebrity around here. We’ve even got a drink named after you.”
The grasshopper says, “You’ve got a drink named Steve?”