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I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world last night, (couldn’t sleep) and that’s when I realized that I don’t really give a rat’s behind…
Listen up!
1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so. I’m retired.
Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.
3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.
9. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
11. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.
12. When I’m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?
13. It’s not hard to meet expenses . . . they’re everywhere.
14. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m hereafter.
15. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
16. I’M UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I’VE POSTED THIS BEFORE.
*Wiping the tears from his eyes* I may have snorted in laughter a few times along the way.
Ahhh…that was fantastic Jeanne, I haven’t laughed that hard in a while. xo
This is a real hoot. Especially the part of “hereafter”. It really applies to me. I don’t know how many times I’ve gone down to the basement or upstairs to get something and can’t remember why I went there. Which poses the kicker “If we are supposed to get wiser with age, then why do we get more forgetful?”
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