How is it possible that my dad and husband have both been diagnosed? (I am new here)

[yogagrl]

Hello everyone,
Very happy to have found this space.
I am feeling very angry…then sad…then angry…then sad.

My husband, only 47 was diagnosed two years ago after the doctor found a couple of small tumours in his bladder. They were removed and a year later, his tests were clear. This year, recently, they have come back. My husband’s family has a long history of different cancers. His parents passed away in their late 60’s from Ovarian and Bladder/Lung cancer. I am trying to feel lucky that we have caught it so soon, unlike in the case of his parents. He is now scared of other cancers showing up.

As for my dad, not much cancer in the family, very healthy at 66. He started getting a lot of pain very recently and they found multiple tumours, isolated in the bladder. He is having his bladder removed next week. Hopefully they can rebuild it for him, we have to wait and see. His biggest worry now is that he can’t enjoy his wine and cigars any longer.

Of course I have my own slew of problems, issues and more stress than I would like. How am I possibly going to be able to add to the list?

I have a lot of respect for everyone on this site, and wish you all the best. Thanks for listening.

Have a nice weekend everyone!

[shelties]

Hi there yogagrl, welcome to the site. It sure sounds like you have a lot on your plate. It really comes in bunches for you doesn’t it. I’m sorry that you have two very important people in your life at the same time with this bladder cancer. Of course, there are always other life issues that we must deal with along with all of this extra stress too, which often gets put aside because of setting priorities that need our attention. I also have bladder cancer, among a few other cancers that I have and its’ been a long challenging 5 and a half years for me dealing with this. There are many people on this site who are very knowledgeable and experienced with bladder cancer and I’m sure someone will be along soon. There is also lots of good information about bladder cancer on here as well, so you might find it helpful to check some of that out. Just know that you’re not alone with this, and joining this forum was a good decision on your part. It does help to connect with others dealing with the same or similar issues. Take care of yourself and sending you hugs.

Lorraine

[EddieM]

Hi Yogagrl,

I feel your pain. I wish you didn’t have to visit this site (for obvious reasons) but welcome to a great place to gain support and feedback from people that have been there.

I was diagnosed just prior to my 40th birthday. I’ve been one of the “lucky ones” in terms of catching it early. One TURBT and a single installation of chemo, I’ve been cancer free for almost 2 years now. Next check up is in July which I plan to hear “all clear”.

I came to BCC days after my initial ultrasound and it has been a great place for info since.

Welcome and sending your Hubby and Pops all the best!

Eddie

[elsie]

Hi Yogagrl
Thinking of you and your family.
This is a difficult road but with support and love and prayers you all will survive and thrive!
Thinking of you
Hugs
Lynn

[Gord]

Hey Yogagirl, so glad that you found this site AND that you posted, especially in the midst of all that you are going through right now. Just a quick encouragement to hang tough and take it all step by step, that is the only way. Getting ahead of where you are at now is a sure way to be overwhelmed. BTW, it is more than ok to let yourself feel overwhelmed, you are carrying a lot for two people very close to you! I sure appreciated my wife’s support through my journey with BC, but there were moments when she too felt the weight of it all. Share the load around with those you can, and don’t be afraid to ask people for help, to have coffee, or listen, or make you a meal! People want to help, they sometimes just don’t know how. Will be thinking of and praying for your dad and your husband. I lost my bladder to BC almost exactly two years ago. Woke up with a neo bladder, and things have been pretty good ever since. But it is often a step by step, day by day thing, plus the waiting for the next appt, treatment, test result etc.Lots of good people on this site willing to share what they know, which is helpful and supportive along the way. Hang in there!

[Rick B]

Hi Yogagrl,

Wishing you and your family the very best of outcomes. I’m close to your Dad’s age and was diagnosed with BC a little over 3 years ago. Fortunately mine was non-invasive and I’ve been cancer free for nearly 2 years.

Prayers and thoughts for you and your family during this difficult time…keep us in the loop.

Rick

[Ieva]

Hi Yogagrl,

Four years ago, my husband, then 64, was diagnosed with aggressive adenocarcinoma bladder cancer. He had his bladder/prostate removed, followed by chemotherapy. All of his tests since then have been cancer free. We live in Toronto, and I am happy to answer any questions you may have…in person, by phone, or email. As the caregiver (as well as a cancer survivor) I appreciate the roller coaster of sad/mad.

Keeping you in my thoughts!

Ieva

[yogagrl]

Thank you so much everyone. The power of support groups like this is a huge help. I have been grateful to have been on them In the past for my own fibromyalgia and alopecia. With alopecia, devastating in its own right, you often get comments like “at least it’s not cancer! ” that really annoyed me in past. But now, if I had one wish, I would wish for my dad and husband to be cancer free. I would lose all my hair in exchange.

Happy to hear that you have all done well and wishing you the best outcomes.

I will keep you posted, thank you for the support and thoughts and prayers.

My dad had his cat scan today, they get the results tomorrow morning. Hope it is clear. They are hoping to reconstruct his bladder when they are in there this Thursday. Hoping for the best obviously. Did I mention that my poor dad is most worried about not being able to drink his Italian wine and enjoy his odd Cuban cigar! Lol Funny what you think about in the moment.

Hubbie is waiting to hear back from his annoying family doctor for his next appt at the hospital to go in and remove the small tumours again. I call the doctor annoying because he was the one that told my husband, “your last scope was clear last year…I mean, you wouldn’t want to have to get scoped again if you didn’t have too, right? It’s kind of a hassle. ” Total jerk.

[millize]

Hi Yogagrl You are now a member of a club no one looks to join.WECOME !!!!!!!!!. This will be a long journey, with it’s share of ups and downs
Hear we share our own journeys and yours.As for your Dad he can drink his wine and his friends too, if they let him(lol).The cigar as well.As for your husband, it will take time and determination to stay positive on this journey. We are all here to help as best we can to support you and your family. REACH FOR FAITH, BELIVE IN HOPE AND KNOW YOU ARE LOVED

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