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Homepage – Forum Forums Off Topic Gotta laugh!

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • #8062
    Greg
    Participant

    A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.They saw her and began calling greetings to her.
    “Hello – How are you! We’ve been waiting for you! Good to see you.”

    When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, “This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?”

    “You have to spell a word,” Saint Peter told her.

    “Which word?” the woman asked.

    “Love.”

    The woman correctly spelled ‘Love’, and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

    About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

    I’m surprised to see you,” the woman said. “How have you been?”

    “Oh, I’ve been doing pretty well since you died,” her husband told her. I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?”

    “You have to spell a word,” the woman told him.

    “Which word?” her husband asked.

    “Czechoslovakia.”

    #17330
    Greg
    Participant

    One more:

    I know you have been laying awake at night wondering why baby diapers have brand names such as “Luvs”, “Huggies,” and “Pampers’, while undergarments for old people are called”Depends”.

    Well here is the low down on the whole thing. When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv’em, Hug’em and Pamper’ em. When old people crap in their pants, it “Depends” on who’s in the will!

    Glad I got that straightened out.

    #17331
    EddieM
    Participant

    These are both fantastic! The last one made me laugh out loud at the office!

    Thanks Greg.

    #17332
    Ieva
    Participant

    I’m still laughing about the diaper naming post!!!! Hilarious and true 🙂

    #17333
    Rick B
    Participant

    “Ya gotta laugh” is an awesome entry and the 2 you posted are great..thanks Greg.

    I will try my best to come with some too…I see lots that a little wordsmithing would qualify as good entries.

    Maybe we could start a new string on this site called…”Greg’s Gotta Laugh”…with postings from all members and/or visitors.

    I’m alreay working on my first post…

    Rick

    #17334
    Rick B
    Participant

    Here’s a LOL Joke!!!;

    John angrily looked at the text he had just received from his Mom.

    It read: “Professor called today to say you failed the course. LOL. Mom.

    John thinking…How could he have failed me? … then again, all Mom has to say is that she’s Laughing Out Loud?!

    John being Fed up, text-ed his Mom: “What was up with the LOL?”

    Mom…“I just wanted to send you Lot’s Of Love because I know how disappointed you must be.”

    #17342
    KIOWA
    Participant

    well, greg hasn’t changed a bit. Or maybe he has.

    Kiowa

    #17348
    marysue
    Participant

    I did laugh at this! I have a son called John and this is exactly something he would do and that probably would have been my answer!

    #17355
    Rick B
    Participant

    Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”

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