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Homepage – Forum Forums Off Topic First bday without Mike…need hugs

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    Hi All,

    Today is my 46th birthday and my first one in a long time without Mike to celebrate with. So, I figured I would reach out to my BCC family for a big strong hug to get me through today and the obvious Valentine’s Day tomorrow. Mike was well trained – never combining the two days…always two cards, two presents, and about a million kisses and hugs. I really miss him.

    My girlfriends and sister and niece are taking me out for dinner tonight so that should help.

    Send me as many hugs as you can muster please :).

    Kiowa – you may want to send tequila.




    Dance to the music, Birthday Girl! Mike’s love surrounds you!

    We’ll make a date soon! Martini or Negroni?

    Love and more hugs,


    Perhaps Mike is still chuckling that he managed such a youthful catch! Ahhhh, I remember when I was 46. OK it’s only a dozen years ago, but my what has occurred in that time. You have endured more in the last year than many of us ever will. So your youthful 46 is tempered by aging circumstances. And yet, you can look back on the years you and Mike celebrated your birthdays together and enjoy the naustalgia and enveloping love and delight in each other. And though he is not here to wrap his arms around you, his impact on your life is engrained in your very fibre. When two people marry, they become one in so many ways. When one of them passes away, the one left may feel completely empty, a zero, but in reality with time and healing and perspective, the emptiness can be replaced with fullness again. Just as one plus one does not equal two in relationships, so also one minus one does not equal zero in relationships although for a long time it might feel that way.

    We cannot replace Mike’s love, nor come close to filling the void, but that does not lessen our affection and support and so we wish you a very happy birthday – even if this is the fifth or sixth time you have celebrated your 46th birthday!


    Jack Moon

    Happy Birthday Monique and also Happy Valentines Day.
    Lots of Hugs coming your way.
    See you on the 24th, so looking forward to that day!


    Dear Monique
    I remember reading about you & Mike when I first joined this forum. I marvelled at the connection the two of you had and the devotion you showed through the ups & downs illness journey. The firsts without your soulmate are heart wrenching. Over time, the sorrow that they are gone is gradually replaced by the gratitude you had them for the time you did. But it still sucks!!! We can’t fill the emptiness but know you will be carried in many hearts over the next while.


    HUGE HUG!!!!

    Next time we dance 🙂

    Rick B

    Happy Birthday and Happy Valentine’s Day Monique. Lots of hugs your way!



    Monique I’m so sorry I wasn’t on here yesterday to see your post. Hope you managed to have a wonderful birthday even though Mike wasn’t here. Unfortunately these milestones aren’t easy and if you haven’t been in this situation it is difficult for people to comprehend how you can feel so alone when surrounded by so many loving souls. Virtual hugs definitely sent your way and hope you can feel the love and concern we all feel for you.


    Thank you all so much…your hugs make all the difference. And yes, Flo, you are right, it is hard to describe how you can feel so alone when surrounded by such love. And I am truly surrounded by wonderful family and friends…unfortunately they just aren’t Mike. I have never experienced a feeling like this one in all my life. I had been lucky up until now to not have had many close to me die. I still have both my parents who are 81 and 84 so it is strange.

    I did end up having a very nice birthday and weekend despite my Sweetheart not being here to share it with me. I am sure Mike was with me in spirit though and the past 14 birthdays were pretty special with him so I was spoiled.

    Big hugs back to each and every one of you.



    Sorry I missed your birthday but I am happy that it did turn out to be a nice day. Big hugs are sent your way and I am so pleased that you continue to post as you are always in our thoughts.



    Hi Monique:

    I’m sorry that I’m very late with this but I’ve been away from the site for quite a while and am catching up on everyone’s news. First off, a very happy albeit late birthday wish for you and yes this birthday and Valentine’s is obviously most difficult….All the firsts with the loss of a loved one are really tough. Secondly, here is a ((((((BBBBIIIIIGGGG HHHHHUUUGGGG)))))) to wish you the best under these trying circumstances. Keep in touch with us.


    I am sorry I have been late coming here too. Life has gotten in the way of me showing up.
    I often think how it would be, and I know how hard it would without hubby.
    But knowing how much you loved each other, and how he would want you to still have a good life is
    something I am sure you know. Same if it were the other way around.



    Hugs, an infinite number of them. remember, love endure and it transends time. His love will always be with you. God gave us memories for a reason. My best to you. We are still here for you. Thank you for staying with us. I know we all appreciate it. Through Mike you give us great joy, encouragement and Mike’s love.



    Thanks Marysue, Jeanne and Kiowa….I checked the site today to see how Greg was doing and I noticed your had all posted on my need for hugs.

    Glad I checked since I still need hugs and am happy to get them from you guys. Jeanne – nice Youtube link…thanks.

    Hugs back to all of you.


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