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Hi,
I have told my story in previous postings, how my cystectomy ended up with a two and half month hospital stay and now I have had two set-backs. A few weeks ago I discovered that I have developed a hernia and this past week, a friend of mine, Joe, passed away due to cancer. I have known Joe for 40 years and the connection is that for the period I was in hospital, he looked after my birds at home, phoned me every night and came into the hospital to see me a couple of times each week. Whilst I was in hospital, I was trying to think of how I could repay a very good friend and now he has gone. His wife, Helen, knows that I am here for her, but i am devastated.KeithW
It certainly is devastating, that is way more than anyone should have to handle. I think by the nature of the word (or process) coping has to be difficult. i give you my sincere condolences for the loss of your very close friend and I give you my prayers for your recovery. I always try to look on the positive side but that’s not usually easy. But thankfully you had such a friend and it is far better that he was there for you than to not have known him. I think you gave him more than you think. I believe you already repaid him, not that he ever asked you to. He sounds like the kind of man who loved the opportunity to give and help and you gave him that opportunity. He died a very very happy man. It is a major loss for you nevertheless but I have the feeling that gave a lot to him also. You sound like the kind of person who will use your experiences to help others and that also is a great gift. You won;t forget your friend, and you wouldn;t want to. I’m sure Joe will continue to look after you. Joe would want you to get well, so try to go about doing that and go on to give to others the great joys that Joe gave to you. I offer you my best, Keith.
Kiowa
Hi Keith. Sorry to learn of the devestating loss of your friend. My condolences to you and the family. You’re in my prayers. You certainly have had more than your share of troubles. Hang in there…. ((((BIG HUGS))))
Keith: Thanks for sharing a little of your grief with us. Sometimes the problems can seem to be almost insurmountable when they come one after the other, especially when a dear friend is gone. Death so often focusses our attention on living, however, and we need to ensure that we make each day worthwhile. It sounds like your friend did so by being a help to you. Perhaps now you can be that same kind of friend to his wife and share her grief as she shares yours. I guess it’s true that the things and people who are taken from us are important, but so much more important for our own wellbeing is how we react when those things happen. Helping someone else can be very therapeutic for them and for ourselves and sharing our heart with another, though risky at times, can also be so rewarding. You’ll know that, of course, but I know I sometimes need to be reminded of things I know but often fail to do when life throws a wrench into the works. Do what you can! That’s all that anyone can do, but sometimes we fail to do what we can. Sounds like your friend did that for you. What a great treasury of memories you’ll have of his kindness over 40 years, and more recently especially. Value those and pay them forward to others who need what you can give too.
Greg
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