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Hi,
My husband was recently diagnosed with Bladder Cancer at the age 29, to the shock of many doctors of his early age and that he is not a smoker. Right now we don’t have the results back from the biopsy but he has a surgery booked in 2 weeks. The doctor said he thinks its low grade and is contemplating having my husband do the Chemo wash (don’t know the exact term) after they remove the tumour. He is extremely worried that the cancer is at a higher stage and is making himself even more sick over the unknown. Is there anything a caregiver can do to reassure their loved ones.
Thank you,
Hello M1234
Been there. Done that. No fun. It amazes me how us humans have such an amazing ability to stress especially about the unknown.
Check out the info on this site. Really good stuff. Stay away from other internet sites. They will scare the daylights out of you and the information they have is not particularly the best in my opinion. In my opinion, they have you without a bladder next month and dead the month after that. No one needs that kind of garbage.
Chemo wash sounds scary but it really isn’t. As long as the protocols are followed the risk is minimal. There are also other options available but until the biopsy results are back and the surgery is done the best option won’t be known until then.
I was diagnosed May 1, 2014. Three surgeries, two fulgurations and 30 plus BCG treatments later I am cancer free 2 1/2 years and 10 days. The worst part? The unknown at the beginning between the ultrasound that said”indications are malignant” and the confirmed cancer diagnosis. Once I knew for sure it was cancer then a plan could be put in place. No more free for all partying for those cancer cells. I was now on the attack!
Don’t spend your time trying to figure out what caused the cancer or why you have it. That part can’t be changed and spending your time and energy there means you have no time or energy for your future and yes you have a future.
If the doctor thinks the cancer is low grade then trust him. He has way more experience with bladder cancer than you or your husband do. Even high grade is not a death sentence. Mine was “mostly low grade” from the start then advanced to high grade with my last recurrence. My urologist said “yes, this is a setback but not to worry.” He was right. If there is anything I have learnt on this journey is not to waste time and energy worrying. It just takes too much out of a person and leaves one way too worn out. Worn out = no energy to fight the cancer.
My best advice: take a deep breath or two or three or four or however many it takes; hug one another; cry; spend time with those you love; cry again and as needed; then find something to laugh about. Then you will start to heal.
Also stop spending so much time swinging from the rafters. All you will get up there are bumps, bruises and splinters in your hands. Time on terra firma is so much better and easier on a person.
Take care
CherylWelcome to Bladder Cancer Canada but sorry that you have need of us. My thoughts and prayers go out to you both that your hubby will receive a positive diagnosis (low grade).
The actual best diagnosis of bladder cancer to be hoping for is non-muscle invasive low grade. I was non-muscle invasive high grade – the difference being that the cancer was considered more aggressive but the good news was that it was early stage and BCG immunotherapy that I had following surgery seems to have done the trick. I’ve been clear since 2010.
It is very hard in the beginning waiting for the actual diagnosis results to come in. For me, I think that was the most nerve racking part of the journey. The only thing that I could do during the wait was stay busy so that I wouldn’t think about things too much.
My hubby came up with a wonderful distraction. While waiting for the results, he took a few days off work and we went out of town to BC. I had a great time picking fruit in the Okanogan and enjoyed swimming in the lake. It made life seem more normal and because I was not waiting at home, I did almost forget for a while. I suggest the distraction technique if you know of some of his favourite things, activities to do like my hubby did.
Sometimes I think it is almost as hard or harder for the spouse if they are the caregiver because they want to help and sometimes feel helpless because they are not sure what to do – that is the other thing – if you haven’t already done so, ask if there is anything you could help him with.
Stay in touch, and please let us know how you are. ((((HUGS))))
Hello M1234
I am sorry to hear that your husband has been diagnosed with BC.
The time from being first diagnosed with Bladder Cancer up until the time of the pathology report is received is a very difficult period to be sure. We all go through it. It is a very stressful time to be sure.
“Cancer” is such a dreaded 6 letter word. It comes with a lot of history. BUT, as many here can attest, Bladder Cancer is highly treatable. There are quite a number where, after treatment go on to live very full lives.
I can bore you with references to what I am going to write here … but I will not.
Here are some positive things to keep in mind.1) Trust your Urologist. His visual diagnosis is a very good start.
2) Low Grade Bladder Tumors tend to be “papillary” in form whereas High Grade Tumors tend to be “sessile” in form. So, your Urologist has a good idea what your husband presented with based on what he saw..
3) Low Grade, Low Risk Bladder Tumors tend to be treated with a chemotherapeutic agent immediately after removal – a Chemo “wash”. It is a good sign that the Urologist thinks that is all that is required.
4) Non-Muscle Invasive Bladder Cancer (NMIBC – where usually the patient does NOT face bladder removal) occurs in about 70% of cases. Of those 70%, a further 70% are diagnosed as non-invasive at all (Ta) and Low Grade (LG). This is the diagnosis I had. The odds are very much in his favor.Sounds to me like everything will turn out just fine: The Doc. will “scrape-off” the annoying “wart” …. Hubby will get a Mitomycin-C wash…. He will go home …. …. Doc will give him check-ups from time to time to make sure all continues to be well.
Now don’t sweat it !!!
God Bless
DDep
P.S. I had a large TaLG tumor removed. I am on Immunotherapy treatment (BCG). I still have my bladder. My life now is richer than it was before I was diagnosed. I take things less for granted and try to live each day to the full. So, to some degree it was a blessing for me.
I have been less fortunate than your husband as I was diagnosed with severely aggressive bladder cancer that had perforated the wall of the bladder and had metastasized to several lymph notes in my groin. It was necessary to remove my bladder and the lymph nodes (they removed 12). This all happened without any symptoms except for one occurrence of blood in my urine. We sought medical attention the same night I passed the blood. I was diagnosed in 2015 and I still have a pretty good life even though I am still going through treatment. My cancer went to my liver and my right lung after the first treatment (almost 2 years later). I had a second round of chemo in 2017 which has cleared up my lung but my liver has gotten worse. I start immune therapy in February.
Being diagnosed at 29 makes it even more upsetting but from what you described, your husband should make out very well as it appears that it was discovered very early. I know you are both upset and scared but believe me that his chances sound excellent.
The things that got me through all of this include a dedicated medical staff, a wonderful wife who has stayed strong (I don’t think I would have made it without her) and amazing friends and family that were and still are extremely supportive. I also am fortunate to be the type of person that takes most things in stride – not to say that there weren’t times that I didn’t get upset and wonder if the fight was worth it. Don’t hide from “cancer”. Talk about it between yourselves and willing family and friends. I’ve always found that talking about it made cancer less “scary”. Have faith in your doctors, your husband, yourself and your God. I’m sure that you both will get through this.
Bless you both.
John
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