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Hello all
Just got word today that my 70 year old father is diagnosed with bladder cancer. And to be perfectly honest we are very confused and frightened.
We are going to see the GP and Surgeon tomorrow to get more details but we know its invasive and not sure what stage/grade. The doctor does want the bladder removed and has requested booking for CT scan/ Surgery date….things are hapenning so quick…somebody help!!
I’m glad you joined us. We can help you through this. It must be a terribly frightening experience with so much to think about so fast. But please know that we know a lot more about bladder cancer than we did 10 or even 5 years ago. I do think that if the cancer is invasive the bladder should be removed. It’s a big step but millions of people live near normal lives after bladder removal. Get as much information as you can, ask as many questions as you can and write everything down. Everyone tends to forget things and right now you don;t need to be more confused. I applaud you for standing by your father. that will be the best help he can get. He needs to know you are on his side, that you will help him understand all this and together you will all manage. Try not to get caught up in all the newness of this, everything will become clear and we will help you through all this. My best to you and your Dad. My prayers are with you.
Kiowa
Sorry your dad has been diagnosed with invasive bladder cancer. This is a major surgery, and usually we recommend a 2nd opinion from a major cancer center or teaching hospital.
Insure to ask the Urologist for a copy of the pathology report which explains the type of bladder cancer and the stage and grade.
We can assist your dad if a 2nd opinion is sought.
Please keep us posted on his progress.
All the best,
JackHi all
Went to the Uroligist today and he was very kind and took over 45min to explain what has happened. The tumor is 2.1×1.8x 1.7 and is invasive to the muscle wall so Stage II min. We are looking to book CT scan ASAp to get more details on Stage/grade. He wants to do the surgery to remove bladder on Feb 14 and has given 2 options..1. Bag using 10 cm of intestine into a pouch (stoma) 2. Neobladder
We need to tell him ASAP so he can book surgical time. Not sure which on to go with. My dad wanted Neobladder but does not like the cafether. will search site for pros/cons
SSK: Glad you found this site. So sorry your dad is having to go through all this. As one who has had the surgery (called a radical cystectomy; we shorten it to RC) I can assure you that life can be great following the recovery. I have a neobladder and do not need to catheterize. Some do in order to fully drain the new bladder, but anyone who does so that I have spoken with does not think it is a big deal particularly. But before all that, make sure you are dealing with a major cancer centre/surgeon who does these surgeries a lot. It’s big stuff and should never be done by someone who only does a few a year. Get the best if your uro is at an outlying hospital. And get a copy of the path report too.
The neo allows you to look the same as before with only the surgical scar (no big deal there). It requires the ability to push, strain, expel the urine as if having a bowel movement – same sort of pressure. Incontinence can be an issue, especially at night and some never regain full control, but most do. Erectile disfunction is common with both types of diversions. Often there are issues with the bowels as well by many. Clock watching is necessary because with the neo there is no sensation of fullness and need to urinate.
While I do not have the external drainage pouch (called an ileal conduit), those who have those are also very happy with their choice. I know that the bags can leak as well on occasion. They are pretty well invisible under clothing so that is not really an issue. The surgery for the ileal conduit is usually shorter than for the neobladder if that is a concern.
Feel free to message me if you’d like any further info.
All the best.
GregThanks Greg for the pros/cons. After speaking with my dad and given his age, he is leaning towards the conduit. He has spoken to 3 ref today 2 conduit and 1 Neo and feels that he can live better with conduit.
CT appt is on Feb 4 @ Trillium Mississauga. The surgeon, I did some research and has good ratings and told us he has done hundreds of these.
Overall, he is in great spirits and really strong. Mentally, I don’t think there is a challenge. Its more us, his family…
Welcome to our site but sorry that you have reason to be here. You guys have done the right things in terms of getting ready to face this. Kudos to you both. The BC(bladder cancer) journey can be a long and often wierd arduous road but we are here for you. As the others have advised weigh the pros and cons of each option, ask lots of questions. In the end it will be your Dad that lives with the choice so if he is more comfortable with the idea of one over the other that needs to be taken into account along with his age, general health status etc. It is hard for family members to get their heads around it. If anyone in the family including yourself finds that they are struggling coping with all of this don’t hesitate to seek out the supports you need. The hospital should be able to help. Check also to see if there is a Wellspring in your area. IT is an organization that provides support to patients, families and caregivers. That is in addition to this site of course. For bladder cancer specifics there are a lot of good folk here (you’ve already heard from a couple) that can help along the way. Please stay in touch and let us know how it is going. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Welcome SSK, although I am sorry that you needed our group. From your last post, it seems that your dad is handling this pretty well. I am sure, as his family, you are all concerned for him. The power of positive thinking is a wonderful thing, so if your dad is feeling positive, that is a great sign. As a BC survivor, I would like to make a suggestion – follow your dad’s cues. If he is feeling really positive, then go with it. But if at some point, he has a low period, let him vent and get it all out. I remember my frustration when I needed to feel blue for a little while, and some of my friends insisted on being “Mary Sunshines”. It was annoying. A good friend who is a breast cancer survivor was the only one who gave me permission to temporarily be in a bad mood and whine a little. It was so liberating, after feeling I had to be positive all the time. And you know what? Once I whined and vented, I felt better. Good luck to your dad. Keep us posted.
Hi all
Thx for the words of encouragement. I think from what I have read and the amount of research my dad has done is that we need to get the CT scan and then asses the situation. everything is moving so quick. we still have a surgery date of Feb 14 in place but need the CT pathaology to really stage/grade the cancer
Watch the videos from the Hamilton Patient Meetings…Fantastic
My dad goes for his 2nd opinion at Trillium Queensway tomorrow. Will post thereafter!
Hi folks
2nd Opinion has confirmed original diagnosis. My dad has gone for CT scan yesterday results should be within days. Pre-op tomorrow and Operation scheduled for Feb 14….
Hi All,
CT Scan came back and the cancer looks to be localized and has not spread. Doc suspects 80% chance that cancer has not spread and now will confirm during final pathology of lymph nodes which will be taken out during the operation next week
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