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Hi Monique:
You must feel like you are in a situation with no light at the end of the tunnel. Whatever decisions you guys make will be second guessed at some point. When my mother in law was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2004 while in hospital for a stomach ailment she was given two options. Surgery was out of the question because of her age and frail state. The options were see an oconlogist to discuss chemo/radiation options to not cure but extend her life or leave it alone and live the best quality of life with the time she had left. Mom chose the latter as she said that she was old and would live her remaining days as healthy as she could and not be sick from cancer treatment. She did live another 3 1/2 years before the cancer spread and eventually claimed her.
I don’t know how old you guys are but as the others have said I think it is boiling down to a quality of life issue not a save his life issue. Each surgery or drug treatment he has will take its toll on him. It sounds to me like one doc favors the more “natural” route to give him a better quality of life hence no chemo, surgery etc. with the remaining time that he has. I’m not qualified to make any judgement calls here but you did ask for opinions so I’m weighing in. If you are to opt for any surgeries or drug treatments my suggestion is grill not ask the docs about what the serious odds are for any improvement versus not doing anything. You also have to consider the recovery time for any surgeries as that will probably take longer than usual if Mike is in an already weakened condition. I would suspect that the risk for complications would be higher too.
I’m so sorry to read this as you literally are between a rock and a hard place. If Mike’s mental state doesn’t improve then you will have to run with what you think he would want. Not easy, I know. Hang in there girl, we’re with you. ((((BIG HUGS)))