Mayre: Phobias tend to be irrational so trying to understand them is not particularly productive, I suspect. However, learning to accept something that causes fear or anxiety is productive – and in this case absolutely imperative. I wonder if you should get in touch with the ostomy nurse now rather than waiting till closer to your surgery. She may be able to dispel some of your concerns and gradually introduce you to a concept that two months from now will be second nature to you.
I do not have an external bag, but do have an internal one made out of intestine which does not work in the same way as a bladder since it is not a muscle, has no micturition reflex, produces mucus, does not give the sensation of “gotta go”, and so on. Is it perfect? Nope. Is it good? In the circumstances it is excellent. Would I prefer a bladder? Only if it was cancer-free and worked properly.
You will also develop thick skin – and I mean that symbolically. So when someone “kids” you about being a bag lady you will learn to grin and bear it and not cry or drop them with a left hook. However, you may also learn to laugh at yourself and learn to rely on a good sense of humour to help you through some of the challenges to come. To me, being able to laugh has kept me sane (though some would contend that I was not sane to begin with).
It’s all a big deal, a very big deal. We get that. We’ve been where you are and have come out the other end as alivers, survivors and thrivers. You will too and will then turn and help someone else. You will because you can. You will, I have found, because you must. It’s what life is all about, making a difference in someone else’s life who is in need. Thanks for sharing. You can do this!
