HI Kimmc and welcome to our site!
Sorry to learn of your diagnosis but I strongly recommend considering the advice from Jack and Greg. I am female also and was diagnosed with TaG3 (noninvasive, high grade) at age 50 in the fall of 2008 and a reoccurence of a single tumour (same diagnosis) in the summer of 2010. If your kidney shows distension it is possible that was the result of the ureter being blocked for some time. The urine was continuing to back up into the kidney. The kidney stone could be causing issues too depending on its location and size. I would have a serious discussion with your uro about what to do about the kidney stone, distention and monitoring the thickening of the bladder wall. I suffered from kidney stones and some damage to my left kidney as a child due to my left ureter being too narrow and kinked (birth defects). The kidney stones were removed and the ureter repaired but it wasn’t an easy process. However that being said the surgery has come a long way since 1965.
I have done 21 BCG treatments and did find that the side effects got heavier as time went on. Some people are fortunate and that doesn’t happen. I would query holding the BCG for 3 hours. The max i’ve heard of is 2. Some places say 1 is enough. Where I go the norm is 2 or as close to that as you can get. I had to cut a couple of thenm short due to an over full bladder and a lot of bladder pain and spams. Best of luck and keep in touch. We will support you along the way.
