SSK: Glad you found this site. So sorry your dad is having to go through all this. As one who has had the surgery (called a radical cystectomy; we shorten it to RC) I can assure you that life can be great following the recovery. I have a neobladder and do not need to catheterize. Some do in order to fully drain the new bladder, but anyone who does so that I have spoken with does not think it is a big deal particularly. But before all that, make sure you are dealing with a major cancer centre/surgeon who does these surgeries a lot. It’s big stuff and should never be done by someone who only does a few a year. Get the best if your uro is at an outlying hospital. And get a copy of the path report too.
The neo allows you to look the same as before with only the surgical scar (no big deal there). It requires the ability to push, strain, expel the urine as if having a bowel movement – same sort of pressure. Incontinence can be an issue, especially at night and some never regain full control, but most do. Erectile disfunction is common with both types of diversions. Often there are issues with the bowels as well by many. Clock watching is necessary because with the neo there is no sensation of fullness and need to urinate.
While I do not have the external drainage pouch (called an ileal conduit), those who have those are also very happy with their choice. I know that the bags can leak as well on occasion. They are pretty well invisible under clothing so that is not really an issue. The surgery for the ileal conduit is usually shorter than for the neobladder if that is a concern.
Feel free to message me if you’d like any further info.
All the best.
Greg
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