Oh Wow! Being Canadian I don’t know anything about US law but I second Kiowa’s advice. Find yourself a good lawyer that deals with family/real estate law. I think that the debt he took on should be his responsibility alone since he didn’t even tell you about it. You will need a lawyer to protect your interests in this. Unfortunately it will be hard for you to go against your son but you must protect yourself and your future well being. After all he didn’t think of you when he took on the extra debt without consulting you right? Your kids are adults and if they make poor choices they must face up to it and deal with it themselves. My suggestion for the future is don’t help your kids or anyone else out with anything more than you can afford to take a hit on. One of my sister-in-law’s used her credit line to loan a friend money. The so-called friend defaulted on paying her back. My sister-in-law couldn’t make the payments and ended up in a bankruptcy situation because of it. I don’t cosign on loans or credit cards. I have loaned my kids small amounts of cash with a definite payback schedule. I have kept it to an amount that I could repay if they defaulted or something happened to them. I believe in giving a hand up not a hand out. I keep all my assets separate from theirs so if they mess up I won’t be implicated. I love my kids to bits but do have to look after my interests and feel I’m not responsible for fixing their mistakes.
It won’t be nice to lose the house but if it means a clean start for you and your hubby without the millstone of family debt it might be the better way to go. A good lawyer will be able to spell out the options and help you with the right decision for you. Check to see if there are any lawyers that do pro bono or low cost. Here is Canada we have “Legal Aid” for those that can’t afford regular lawyers. Good luck. Keep us posted.
