Reply To: My mom is facing a radical cystectomy

[marysue]

You defintiely are caught “between a rock and a hard place”. We were like that with my mom’s last heart surgery. She was going to die without it and the chances of her surviving the surgery wasn’t high. In the end we opted for the surgery but she didn’t make it. Even if my mom had made it it was a very long a difficult recovery ahead meaning at least 2-3 months in hospital with more recovery at home. She was only 74 when she went but and sorry to say this she told me the day before the surgery she wanted “to leave this world” so I knew that she had had enough and was ready to leave us. In her case her quality of life would have been very poor as it was presurgery so her passing as hard as it was turned out to be a real blessing. HOwever that being said if your mom is at peace about the surgery and is trusting you with the decision then you have a lot to gain by going for it. If she is getting the conduit then it should be a shorter surgery than the neobladder. Others can correct me here if I’m wrong as I haven’t been down this road. I suggest you discuss with the doc about her possible quality of life post surgery. If she doesn’t have any other serious health issues to hinder her recovery then I’d say this is definitely worth considering. Yes, your medical knowledge may give you some considerable stress but as Greg mentioned it is also a blessing as you know more than others what to watch out for. Even though I only had to do TURBTS and BCG I wish that I’d known in the beginning what I know now. Best wishes and keep us posted.